Leverett Butts - Musings of a Bored English Teacher

Occasional web log from Southern writer Leverett Butts.

My Photo
Name:
Location: Temple, Georgia, United States

English Professor in Georgia. Writer of Southern lit

Thursday, December 04, 2003

I stayed up late last night watching Court TV. There's something about documentaries about crime that completely sap my will to turn off the remote.

Anyway, it inspired me to list my top ten serial killers.

Lev's Top Ten Favorite Serial Killers:

10. Charlie Manson: Okay he's not technically a serial killer, but he should at least appear on some list since he ain't never getting on the parole list. Besides, with his swastika-forehead, wide-eyed stare, and freaky free-love/murder speeches, he's just so cute and cuddly.

9. Hannibal Lecter: Yeah, I know he's not even real, but c'mon: It's Hannibal. Besides my wife looks so cute when she gets grossed out by the tongue flicky thing he does in Silence, I had to list him.

8. The Boston Strangler: I couldn't really think of any other serial killers to fill out my list, so I had to throw him in.

7. Ted Bundy: In this age of political correctness, Bundy restores my faith in the unsavory order of the world: He proves that deep within every pretty-boy beats the heart of a misogynistic predator.

6. The Son of Sam: The man talked to dogs who claimed to be Satan. He's like Shaggy if Hannah and Barberra had given the franchise to King and Straub.

5. The Zodiac: Truly an allegory for our anticlimactic times: He sounds like a comic book super-villain and strikes fear in the hearts of millions, then he turns out to be just a fucked up geek who can't stand his sister's boyfriend.

4. John Wayne Gacy: Sexual deviance, clowns, and the Duke: How did we not see that coming?

3. Jeffrey Dahmer: Nothin' says lovin' like a boy in the oven.

2. Jack the Ripper: 'Cause Victorians are so cool. Just ask any Goth kid at the mall.

1. Ed Gein: The crazy lookin' loner in the middle of nowhere with a perverted mother complex and a taste for flesh. He inspired the greats: Norman Bates, Leatherface, Freddy, and Buffalo Bill.

Did I forget anybody? Feel free to chime in.